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Stupid Human tricks

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  • Stupid Human tricks

    A week ago while driving home I saw something that you will likely get a chuckle out of. Unfortunately I haven't figured out the camera on my new phone and only got a well composed photo of my feet.

    I turned on to a major highway in our area that is patrolled by three agencies, The California Highway Patrol, Los Angeles County Sheriffs and Whittier P.D.
    After completing my turn I pulled in behind a Dodge Magnum. My attention was immediately drawn to a new accessory that had been added recently. Protruding from the fuel door was a shiny new gas pump nozzle with approximately eight feet of reinforced hosing trailing behind. I called 911(hands free mind you) and asked for a unit from one of the three dept's and was told that they would alert a CHP motor who was a couple miles away. I also told her that I would try and make contact as we were approaching the longest signal in the area.

    I stopped and walked to the drivers window and knocked. She turned her head and gave me a look which I presumed meant that I had a lot of nerve to interrupt her phone call. When she rolled down her window I advised her of the problem and suggested that she pull over and wait for the officer. I then followed her (mostly out of morbid curiosity) to a gas station whereupon she hopped out phone to her ear and began tugging on the offending nozzle. The nozzle remained obstinately tangled with the inner workings of the fuel filler tube.

    This irritated the driver to the point that she actually hung her phone.She renewed her efforts and struggled until the CHP motor arrived. At this juncture I made a largely unsuccessful attempt to photograph the scene . A well dressed, impeccably coiffed and appointed woman shrilly denying any culpability . A patient but unamused CHP officer and a Dodge Magnum with the State Farm Insurance claims adjuster signage emblazened on the tailgate.

    As I was preparing to leave a Whittier officer arrived due to the fact that the donor gas station was in their city. I happened to know him and brought him up to speed. He informed me a few days later that they had to arrest the woman for refusing to sign the citations that naturally followed the encounter.

    Yesterday I saw the same woman being cited by LASD on the same highway although this time she was sans gas nozzle.

    The T.V. people are missing a bet here. Instead of armed robberies and pursuits they need to televise the above sort of activities, They're much more entertaining. How about "Really True Stories Of The Highway Patrol" or "Cops: You've gotta be kidding me".

  • #2
    Good story Bob. You can't beat live entertainment!

    Did they check her grill for any cyclist or pedestrians?

    Bucky

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    • #3
      Cool story.
      In my youth, I had often wanted to get a fuel pump nozzle and turn it into a fuel cap on my car. Just for the spectacle of it.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by QuantumJo View Post
        Cool story.
        In my youth, I had often wanted to get a fuel pump nozzle and turn it into a fuel cap on my car. Just for the spectacle of it.
        Yes Joe, But I suppose the novelty and kitch would wear off rather quickly after being pulled over four or five times.

        I once pulled over a carfull of teenagers who had lashed a child size mannequin to the hood of their beater Cavalier . They all failed the attitude test and received citations for their trouble. After which they had to remove the mannequin from the hood in front of a large group of their peers. I have to say though, that I admired their inventiveness and I was truly amused.

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        • #5
          Beats my "maniquinn arm in a shirtsleeve hanging out from the trunk of the car stunt"... State cop didn't see ANYTHING humorous about that, Halloween or not.........

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          • #6
            I think certain State Police Acadamies remove the sense of humor upon entry.

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            • #7
              What about Gluing a coffee cup or a fake sack of groceries to the roof...

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              • #8
                I was told this story by a CHP officer who worked the same area as me .

                It seems some genius in Bakersfield glued an infant seat to the top of his car as a "Social experiment" . As a result he caused eight separate accidents, and was ultimately injured when a concerned citizen cut him off and discovered it was a hoax. She apparently had no sense of humor either. Once the CHP arrived he and his car were scrutinized in the extreme and he received several equipment violations. He was also charged with wreckless driving and public endangerment.
                In addition he was sued successfully by several of the victims in the collisions he caused with his actions. The assault charges against the concerned citizen were dismissed by the judge. The joker was convicted of the charges and got a couple months in jail for his trouble.

                That's the version of the story I heard. It may be apochryphal but it does illustrate the unforseen consequences of such a seemingly harmless action.

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                • #9
                  Bob,
                  I have enjoyed this thread. My brother is a retired police officer and I have many friends in our county sheriff's department here. Our office also takes care of the sheriff's canine unit.
                  I have a true story to relate regarding southern CA and the highway patrol.
                  It was told to me by a retired veterinarian from Thousand Oaks, CA.
                  One time many years ago (60's?) Dr. Bob Miller was traveling home from from a rural location outside of the LA area. It was the evening and he noticed up ahead a traffic stoppage with lots of police and rescue lights, etc. He also noticed there were dead cattle ahead on the roadbed. Seeking to help, he walked up to the scene after pulling over. Apparently the fence was down and several cattle and had been struck by cars, causing a major traffic accident/mess. All the cattle were dead but one, in the middle of the snarl. It was a bull who had suffered major damage to his rear end and who could not stand up, but sat like a dog would and was bellowing. A state trooper was standing near him; he had shot him 2 or 3 times between the eyes with a .38 revolver, to no effect other than enraging the bull and causing more pain. A local rancher was there and told the trooper, "here is Doc Miller, the veterinarian, maybe he can help". The trooper was very annoyed by now and probably had his pride hurt by not being successful at dispatching the injured animal, and grunted something like that his gun was not working right. Someone had a .44 magnum and gave it to him to try. After a loud boom, the bull again just shook his head and bellowed. In exasperation, the trooper then turned to the veterinarian and said "here, you try it"!
                  Doctor Miller stepped forward, and knowing the anatomy of the animal, made an imaginary "x" by drawing a line between the left ear and right eye, and then between the right ear and left eye. Where the lines intersected, a point about 3-4 inches above straight between the eyes, he fired. Immediately the bull crashed to the ground dead. The crowd was awed silent.
                  Seeking to educate the trooper, who like 99% of the public does not know about animal anatomy and the position of the brain compared to humans, Doctor Miller said "you see how I made that X before I fired". To which the trooper replied after a pause, "you're a Catholic, aren't you doc"?
                  Doc Miller just smiled...what could he do?

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                  • #10
                    That's a great story Dave. I would bet you've got a few to tell about your patients and their owners. I grew up around the people James Herriot or James Wight served as a Veterinarian . I read his books as a boy and they gave me a bit of perspective regarding my Yorkshire relatives.

                    Outstanding job on the truck by the way, It is beautiful.

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                    • #11
                      Kind of a weak story compared to these others, but one afternoon I was driving home eastbound on the I-10 at the speed limit (O.K. actually at 70) and was in the Loma Linda/Redlands area when I looked to my right and saw a woman in her late 20's doing a crossword puzzle with her knees on the steering wheel...

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                      • #12
                        Just a couple of years ago I glued a coffee cup to roof of my truck. Remember the old green GMC crew cab I had down in Hollister? That was the truck. Man that was funny to see people staring at it whilst doing 70MPH (ok... 65) down the interstate. I saw a couple of "dudes" who kept checking thier watch and looking up at the cup. I assume there must have been some kind of over under bet going on as to when the cup would fly off.
                        It finally came off after a few months when some guy chased me down in the Costco parking lot and ripped it off the roof and added some NC-17 language. Man... what a grump!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Blisters View Post
                          Kind of a weak story compared to these others, but one afternoon I was driving home eastbound on the I-10 at the speed limit (O.K. actually at 70) and was in the Loma Linda/Redlands area when I looked to my right and saw a woman in her late 20's doing a crossword puzzle with her knees on the steering wheel...
                          I'll bet she was doing the puzzle because she was already done with her makeup.

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                          • #14
                            Having lived in Southern California all my life, I still find it amazing that doing a crossword was more interesting than driving a car in the traffic that we have here. Obviously she doesn't pay attention even when there's nothing in her hands except the steering wheel.

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