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Opened the shop door this morning and a black snake came in and got under the workbench. Way under where I couldn’t see him.
Stood there wondering. Couldn’t think of a civil way to get him out.
Finally stuck my head down there and said something like, “Come on outta there you no-legged, belly-slidin’, underskirt peekin’, ill-fated, buttwang serpent from ****.”
But he didn’t come out.
So I started to think about different options. Less civil options.
I was thinking these thoughts when God shined His light on my vocabulary and I launched a string of words that made the snake sit up and take note… Iowa slang mixed with Carolina slang and a fair bit of cursing. Not the “F” and “S” type of cursing, but something with considerable more quality.
A snake under the bench deserves a good measure of quality in cursing, and for a full minute I delivered as much of it as heaven will allow. And the shop lights flickered, the winds picked up, and my two dogs looked around as if they could see angels descending upon the place. And that snake came slithering out.
Kinda surprised me, but looking back on it, I don’t suppose a Carolina snake has much exposure to Iowa slang. Probably no quality cursing either. A snake is more likely to be familiar with the “F” and “S” words, none of which would’ve had effect. I’m sure of it. They lack charm and are no doubt dispatched so often that they can no longer be taken seriously by a snake, at least not a self-respecting one.
Of all the snakes around here, I think the black snake has the most tolerable amount of self-respect…keeping the population of copperheads and rattlers down. Overall, he’s not a bad snake to have around. Just not under the workbench.
Anyway, I was able to talk that snake out from under the bench with nothing but words, most of which were new to man. Made ‘em up myself.
All of this got me to thinking about the power of words and the way in which they’re delivered. If you get the right ones in the right order and deliver them with the right amount of vigor, it has effect. Maybe you’ve done something as simple as getting a snake out from under the bench. Or maybe you’ve helped to form the life of a kid. Maybe you’ve helped to shape a person who can speak for you when you can no longer do it for yourself.
It's big stuff.
Just my thoughts this morning. That's all.
Stood there wondering. Couldn’t think of a civil way to get him out.
Finally stuck my head down there and said something like, “Come on outta there you no-legged, belly-slidin’, underskirt peekin’, ill-fated, buttwang serpent from ****.”
But he didn’t come out.
So I started to think about different options. Less civil options.
I was thinking these thoughts when God shined His light on my vocabulary and I launched a string of words that made the snake sit up and take note… Iowa slang mixed with Carolina slang and a fair bit of cursing. Not the “F” and “S” type of cursing, but something with considerable more quality.
A snake under the bench deserves a good measure of quality in cursing, and for a full minute I delivered as much of it as heaven will allow. And the shop lights flickered, the winds picked up, and my two dogs looked around as if they could see angels descending upon the place. And that snake came slithering out.
Kinda surprised me, but looking back on it, I don’t suppose a Carolina snake has much exposure to Iowa slang. Probably no quality cursing either. A snake is more likely to be familiar with the “F” and “S” words, none of which would’ve had effect. I’m sure of it. They lack charm and are no doubt dispatched so often that they can no longer be taken seriously by a snake, at least not a self-respecting one.
Of all the snakes around here, I think the black snake has the most tolerable amount of self-respect…keeping the population of copperheads and rattlers down. Overall, he’s not a bad snake to have around. Just not under the workbench.
Anyway, I was able to talk that snake out from under the bench with nothing but words, most of which were new to man. Made ‘em up myself.
All of this got me to thinking about the power of words and the way in which they’re delivered. If you get the right ones in the right order and deliver them with the right amount of vigor, it has effect. Maybe you’ve done something as simple as getting a snake out from under the bench. Or maybe you’ve helped to form the life of a kid. Maybe you’ve helped to shape a person who can speak for you when you can no longer do it for yourself.
It's big stuff.
Just my thoughts this morning. That's all.
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